What's happening in the news? Lots. And our friends at theSkimm have you covered with a run-down of the top headlines. (Want them delivered daily to your inbox? Sign up at theskimm.com)
Panama authorities seized a North Korean freighter they say was smuggling missiles from Cuba back to North Korea through the Panama Canal. Panamanian officials found the weapons hidden within pounds of brown sugar. They realized that this was probably not a North Korean bake-off. The North Korean captain actually tried to commit suicide. No reason to be suspicious at all.
There are a few big issues here. First up, North Korea is not allowed to smuggle undeclared weapons through Panama, apparently also known as “a canal of peace, not a canal of war.” The other issue is that, per U.N. restrictions, North Korea is not allowed to be dabbling in or shipping weaponry, especially when it comes to missiles. This could mean more trouble with the U.N. for the isolated nation. Why exactly North Korea was importing weapons (guesses, anyone?), is not clear, but the freight was traveling from Cuba, which isn’t the U.S.’s biggest fan. Something for it and North Korea to bond over, perhaps.
Repeat After Me
What People Are Saddened By
The death of Cory Monteith. An autopsy showed that the 31-year-old Glee star died from a lethal combo of heroin and alcohol over the weekend. The actor had been open about his previous struggles with substance abuse. Really, really sad.
What to Say When Someone Talks About the Weather
It’s the reason why I made less money this season. No, really. Coca-Cola blamed its disappointing second quarter on unusually rainy and chilly weather and a shaky economy. Or maybe just an increase in juice cleanses. Meanwhile, Yahoo didn’t have such a good revenue report card either, although things are maybe-sort-of-kind-of looking up now one year after Marissa Mayer was hired to lead.
Outside the valley, Goldman Sachs had twice the reason to celebrate—its quarterly profit doubled. Before you pop that Dom, investors aren’t sure if this can be pulled off again or how government regulations will limit the bank.
What to Say When You Get a New Work Rival
I thought we were friends. Longtime Senator Mike Enzi (R-WY) was under the impression that he and Liz Cheney—yes, Dick’s daughter—were tight, but she’s decided to challenge him in next year’s primary. The party line is that it’s backing Enzi, but this could spiral into a political death match. And you don’t want to face a Cheney in a death match.
What to Say When You Want a New Job
Something controversial. It’s worked out for Jenny McCarthy, previously of Playboy, MTV, and VH1 fame. The dynamic blonde, once known for not being shy about burping or farting on air, will be taking a seat on The View this fall. McCarthy will be replacing Joy Behar and Elisabeth Hasselbeck. McCarthy has previously made headlines for her claims that vaccines are tied to autism, which her son suffers from. It’s official: Jenny’s relationship with the camera is the only successful one to come out of Singled Out.
What to Say When Someone Asks, "Want to Go Back to My Place?"
No home field advantage for you. That’s reserved for the American League this year. In a moving send-off of sorts for retiring New York Yankees closer Mariano Rivera, the AL beat out the National League last night at Citi Field.
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