Contrary to popular belief, being a writer for a living is tough work. In fact, you might even say it’s a full-time job. And that sentiment’s exactly what sparked #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter to start trending on Twitter. In just 140 characters, writers united to talk about what their friends, beloved family members, and more have said to them about their chosen career path.
And just for you, we’ve pulled the 24 tweets that made us laugh the hardest.
#TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter Anything. Don't talk to writers. Don't feed writers. Do not make eye contact. Keep moving. You'll be safe.
— Adam P. Knave (@adampknave) July 28, 2015Horror writer problems:
"I read your book. Are you going to kill me?" *cue nervous laughter as they back away* #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter
— Kim Liggett (@Kim_Liggett) July 28, 20154. "I left a message on your website at 2 am. last night. It's now 7 am. and you still haven't answered it. WHY?"#TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter
— Joanne Harris (@Joannechocolat) July 28, 2015#TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter I will pay you with a plate of brownies #yeahthathappened
— Carlton N. Brock III (@TheCarltonBrock) July 28, 2015#TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter I heard this once, from an adult: Does your novel have dragons in it? I only read fiction with dragons.
— Jan Ellison (@janellison) July 28, 2015We will pay you in cash but then burn the cash in front of you #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter
— Greg Hunter (@gregjhunter) July 28, 2015“Can I be in your novel?”
#TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter
You probably are. You’re the one who dies horribly.
— Beau (@INukeYou) July 28, 2015"You really make a living doing that?” #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter
— Amy E. Buttell (@lecreative) July 28, 2015"We're also out of liquor." #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) July 28, 2015"I was thinking, I should become a writer too. I have a lot of things to say" #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter
— jamilah (@JamilahLemieux) July 28, 2015"Your book has a dog in it? I read another book with a dog in it. You're ripping off that other writer." #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter
— Richard Kadrey (@Richard_Kadrey) July 28, 2015"I saw your book in the discount bin at Barnes & Noble!" #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter
— Rachel Held Evans (@rachelheldevans) July 28, 2015#TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter So? Are you still writing or are you working now?
— Karen Rock (@KarenRock5) July 28, 2015#TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter With all the free content on the Internet, do people still get paid for writing? pic.twitter.com/FaKFhKPraU
— Enlighten (@EnlightenAgency) July 28, 2015"You have a lot of great reviews; I bet you wrote them yourself." #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter (and that's a real one someone did say to me.)
— Vivienne Tuffnell (@guineapig66) July 28, 2015"Books destroy trees. Kindles imprison electrons. What kind of monster are you?" #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter
— Richard Kadrey (@Richard_Kadrey) July 28, 2015#TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter I don't see anything wrong with pirating your book. You've made plenty of money already.
— Paul Matthews (@Paul_Matthews13) July 28, 2015"Can you edit/read over/proofread this paper I did?" #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter
— legitness (@anikaclaire8) July 28, 2015My aunt Ida May's anecdotes from working in a yarn factory would be perfect for your next book. #tenthingsnottosaytoawriter
— Grave Distractions (@GraveDistract) July 28, 2015Whatever makes you happy. But get a job soon. #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter
— Mike Gibbs (@mwgfla) July 28, 2015#TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter I think you're drinking too much coffee
— Jamiee Wenham (@JamieeTheGreat) July 28, 2015There's so many writers now, it's almost like you've picked the world's most masochistic and silly career path #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter
— Damien Walter (@damiengwalter) July 28, 2015"You should write for us. It will be great exposure..." #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter
— vaani (@cutegirlvani222) July 28, 2015"We LOVE it. It's PERFECT. We have ONLY a FEW LITTLE NOTES. They won't affect much." *cancels weekend plans* #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter
— Richard Manning (@froonium) July 28, 2015