When I was in high school, I created a fake business card that said, "Elliott Bell, Star Quarterback." I thought it would be impressive to hand out to girls. (It wasn't.)

This business card, on the other hand, is real. Chen Guangbiao, a Chinese businessman and philanthropist, has been handing out this little gem detailing what we assume are his self-appointed professional titles and accomplishments.

Yes, all of them.

More impressive than his career is the fact that he could actually fit everything on a tiny piece of cardstock. (Though we are curious to what "accomplishments" didn't make the cut.)

Guangbiao also happens to be interested in buying the New York Times, though, frankly, we're not sure where that line would go.

Front page photo of man handing business card courtesy of Shutterstock.