Skip to main contentA logo with &quat;the muse&quat; in dark blue text.

Dear Smart People: You're Allowed to Keep Your Mouth Shut

Updated 6/19/2020
person in meeting
Thomas Barwick/Getty Images
When we're all taught to voice our strong opinions and be active participants in discussions, it can seem counterintuitive to keep your mouth shut at work. However, in those moments when you don't have a passionate viewpoint, sometimes it's better to not speak up at all. Here's why.

Think about the last time you were in a meeting.

The conversation was being bounced back and forth like a ping-pong ball—with different people sharing their opinions on a particular subject.

What did you do?

If you’re like most of us, you jumped in with your own two cents in order to appear interested and engaged in what was happening—regardless of whether or not the discussion carried any importance or relevance for you personally.

But, take a moment to think about this: What if you hadn’t done that? What if you had just kept your mouth shut?

It seems strange, doesn’t it? When we’re all constantly encouraged to make our voices heard, the notion that you could just sit back and listen instead of being an active participant in that heated debate is completely foreign.

However, as this Daily Stoic wisdom I’ve seen circulated on Twitter proves, it’s totally possible:



While the passage deals mostly with coping with the negative things that occur in your life, I think there’s a far more powerful message in this: You don’t always have to have an opinion.

That’s right—when things don’t bear a lot of significance for you, it’s more than OK to not have anything to say. It’s permissible for you to be totally neutral in your perception of their impacts or to not want to entertain a discussion about them at all.

And it’s so tempting to think that you always have to have your own strong stance—that failing to voice your own heartfelt viewpoint immediately qualifies you as uninspired, uninformed, or maybe even complacent.

But, here’s the thing: That’s not true. You’re allowed to not have a strong leaning either way. After all, it’s impossible for you to be knowledgeable and passionate about every single subject that arises. And, if you’re neither of those things, ultimately what’s the point of speaking up anyway?



So, no. Maybe you don’t want to take sides in that disagreement between your two co-workers—because you don’t feel strongly about either of their arguments. Perhaps you don’t have anything to add that hasn’t already been said in that team meeting. Or, maybe you truly don’t care whether or not they switch to off-brand coffee in the break room.

Remember this: That’s fine. You don’t always have to contribute. No really, your words will have much more of an impact if you weigh in when you care (and stay quiet when you don’t).


Photo of Kat Boogaard
Kat is a Midwest-based freelance writer, covering topics related to careers, productivity, and the freelance life. In addition to The Muse, she's a contributor all over the web and dishes out research-backed advice for places like Atlassian, Trello, Toggl, Wrike, The Everygirl, FlexJobs, and more. She's also an Employment Advisor at a local college, and loves helping students prepare to thrive in careers (and lives!) they love. When she manages to escape from behind her computer screen, she's usually babying her two rescue mutts or continuing her search for the perfect taco. Say hi on Twitter @kat_boogaard or check out her website.
MORE FROM KAT BOOGAARD
Dear Smart People: You're Allowed to Keep Your Mouth Shut | The Muse | The Muse